What It's Like to be an Agent of the Matrix

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Author of this story is Byl Glinka;
the original is here: You don't know what it's like to be an Agent @ Fanfiction.net 
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You can read russian translation of it here.

What It's Like to be an Agent of the Matrix
By Byl Glinka

I was installed on December 29th, 2084.
I think that makes me a Capricorn.
My name is John Smith. I am an agent of the Matrix.

I hate my job.
Sure it has neat perks. I have superhuman strength and I can dodge bullets.
But I feel that really only distances me from those I'm programmed to protect.
The only part I really like is when I get to take someone's mouth away when he asks for his one phone call.
Is that wrong? Should I not enjoy that as much as I do?
Maybe I have issues. Maybe I have low self esteem.
Maybe it's because I live in constant fear of being upgraded.
Being upgraded is kind of like being downsized.
Except that you still have to go to work tomorrow morning.
I don't know if that makes too much sense.
A couple years ago I thought about not going to work one morning.
If I timed it right, I'd never have to go to work again.
Because work would have been blown up by terrorists.
But then everyone would be really mad at me.
Maybe I'm a coward. Maybe I don't have the strength of character to effect real change in my life.
If I did, I would take that day off, or at least an occasional coffee break.

If I had a day off, I would go try to meet some women.
I wonder if they would find me attractive
Or if they would hold it against me that I'm not real.
I'm an authority figure, and I look good in a suit.
People tell me I look like Tommy Lee Jones.
I think women like those things.
I'm not so sure they'd be impressed that I can calculate PI to 3 billion decimal places.
Maybe I'll just keep that to myself for a while.

I know what you're thinking. You want my job.
You think I'm whining, that I don't appreciate the ability to dodge bullets and cheat death.
Well that's just the glamour part of my job.
In my free time I solve 5th degree differential equations
And work on improving the efficiency of semiconductor production.
Last week I finally got access to the floating point coprocessor.
That was the high point of my career.
Imagine that you cleaned horse stables for a living
And last week they finally gave you a shovel.
That's kind of how I felt.
I have no opportunities for promotion.
I can't leave the company to start my own business.
I'm pretty much stuck.

This is my life.
My name is John Smith.
I am an agent of the Matrix.

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